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Wednesday, August 5, 2009



Well, President Obama has sponsored his now-famous “beer summit,” and so much do I have my finger upon the pulse of the nation that it is almost like I was there. The conversation went EXACTLY thus:

Obama: I’d like to thank both of you for coming, and I think we can find a common thread of-
Crowley: CHUG IT!
Obama: Huh?
Gates: Chug-a-lug!
Obama: Damn that went down easy!
{four beers later}

Gates: You are the best black damn president I ever had!
Crowley: He’s just as white as he is black! He’s the best damn white president!
Gates: Hey Obama! Your mama is a llama with a lot of drama and no pajamas.
Obama: THE HELL SHE IS! Wait- What?
Crowley: That is a sissy-ass beer you drink Big-O.
Obama: I know my- staff made me choose it- it’s politically correct and tastes like piss.
Gates: That reminds me I gotta pee.
Crowley: Let’s piss out the eternal goddamn flame!
Obama: That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all goddamn day.
{another three beers}

Crowley: Big-O you are fitshaced!
Gates: Faceshitted!
Obama: Sarge is that a taser in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Crowley: I AM glad to see you, but this IS a taser.
Gates: Let’s nail that Secret Service guy!
Crowley: We can’t zap him without due cause.
Gates: He got an ugly tie!
Obama: FIRE!

This “diplomacy by beer” idea is going to catch on like wildfire. My guess is that from now on Obama isn’t going to sign any bills without 4 or 5 beers first. Ketel One on Air Force One? You betcha! And the bigger the diplomatic challenge, the more he is going to have to up the ante. If he administers a debate between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell, he will need Long Island iced teas, and plenty of them. To even show up at talks with the deposed Honduras president and the newly posed president, it will take about half an ounce of pot. A summit between Hamas and Israel will warrant two or three good quality rocks of crack. But I bet they make some progress.

Incidentally, there have been many instances of drunken presidents in the past. Franklin Pierce, Martin Van Buren, and Grover Cleveland, with his big beer belly, were known tipplers. Ulysses S. Grant was a reputed alcoholic, and even looks wasted on the 50 dollar bill. Obama is by all measures a workaholic, which means he only works drunk.

Provided by website-hit-counters.com site.

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