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Wednesday, September 2, 2009



This week {actually last week} I got in all my “brushes with fame” for the whole year. Yesterday as I walked down 53rd Street I saw a large mass of people around the stage door for the Letterman Show, as I often do. The stage manager yelled out “Any second!” so I hung around. Out popped Letterman, Andy Roddick, and for some unknown reason, Rachel Ray (she turned out to be the ballgirl). They had stretched a tennis net between two light poles on 53rd, and Letterman was going to try to return Roddick’s serve. If Andy Roddick was serving tea I don’t think Letterman could return it. He was serving at 90 mph, about 2/3 the speed of his U.S. Open best. I don’t think Letterman ever got a racket on it. I yelled out “I hope you’re wearing a cup!” but I don’t think he heard me- I was serious!

I could sense confusion on the faces of all the tourists as they tried to convert miles-per-hour to kilometers-per-hour, but before they could figure it out some guy got nailed! I caught one of the tennis balls that they lobbed into the audience, nearly killing some people who were not expecting it, but I was not able to convince my dog that this ball was “special,” so there is drool on it now, some of it from the dog.

Then the day before that I was walking next to 30 Rock and I notice a bunch of protesters picketing. I thought it was the Rainbow Room not paying their employees again, but one of the sign said, “Pages are People Too!” so I got suspicious. Sure enough, there was that goofy red-headed guy from the Tina Fey show out there looking goofy. I probably could have gotten into the scene but I didn’t want to miss my train, and besides I believe that pages are overpaid.

Then last weekend just as I was finishing my tennis match, two kids and an old guy come onto the court. I did a double-take then said to the old guy, “I don’t suppose anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Sean Connery!” He said, “Yes my mother told me that!” I told him it was nice to meet him, and left. I guess one of the players was his kid, who belongs to Saw Mill. Not as interesting as Jill Clayburgh seeing my wife naked, or the time Chevy Chase said hello to me and I barely gave him a nod (clueless as usual), but not bad.

So I was kicked off the court by James Bond, almost was an extra in “30 Rock,” and told Dave Letterman to wear a protective cup. This was one of my more productive weeks.

Incidentally, Sean Connery was filming a movie with Lana Turner in 1958, only to have her gangster boyfriend storm the set, point a gun at him and accuse him of having an affair with her. Connery disarmed him and diffused the situation. He gave the boyfriend his arm back and got him to leave, but held onto the gun.

Provided by website-hit-counters.com site.

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