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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

SPORTS NOSTALGIA

SPORTS NOSTALGIA

Last weekend they celebrated the 70th anniversary of Lou Gehrig’s famous speech delivered at Yankee Stadium by having people at each stadium read his famous words. 70 years doesn’t seem like a very round number to me. What I think happened is that some people wanted to celebrate the 68th anniversary, and others wanted the 72nd anniversary, and they compromised.

The original speech was delivered only to the fans, not to the media. He mentions how lucky he is to have played in front of them, and he lists his owners and some of his teammates by name, and says he was fortunate just to have associated with them. Then he goes on to include his mother-in-law, and how nice she is to side with him in squabbles with his wife. This is where things go south. I can’t imagine him being the luckiest man on the face of the Earth the next day, when the wife has had a chance to let that sink in a little…

This guy played 2,130 straight games without complaining. Anything less than his own disease named after him probably would not have gotten him out of the lineup. I would like to have a disease named after me, but I don’t want to actually HAVE the disease. Maybe if I could discover it in someone else who I don’t like? I don’t need to be the luckiest man on the face of the Earth- it’s fine with me if I just have acid reflux and a sore knee, and I place in the top 20.

Incidentally, there is no gift listed on the modern or traditional gift table for 70 years. I guess if you live that long and are still drawing breath, you can use it to blow out the candles on the anniversary cake.


HOLIDAYS:

Last weekend we were fortunate enough to celebrate the 4th of July in the town that hosted General George Washington’s headquarters during the last years of the Revolutionary War, Newburgh, New York. No matter how old you are, fireworks displays are still satisfying, at least until you get back to your car and go, “Holy crap! It’s going to take at least an hour to get out of here!” We have not gone to a fireworks display in the last 20 years that did not include a bicycle or a motorcycle- two wheels is the only way to fly in Independence Day traffic. This year we added a new dimension to traffic avoidance, and motored up to the Newburgh Yacht Club on our yacht, the ScapeBoat.

Every year there seems to be a new shell that catches your attention- one year it was the one that explodes and then provides its own applause. This year they set off a variety that looked like an impressionist painting of itself. Nice!

There are all kinds of rules that you need to abide by if you are handling the American Flag on the 4th or any other day. For instance you should never fly the American flag on the same staff as another flag. You should never wear flag shorts, or a flag poncho, as Kid Rock once did. Flag underwear you can forget about, and don’t even talk to me about a flag thong. Unless you are Rosie O’donnell you’re only going to get one star and one stripe on it anyway.

You are allowed to burn the flag if it is tattered (not when it touches the ground), or if America takes over your country without asking first.

Using napkins printed like little flags is a violation of the flag code, but making a cake that looks like a flag is not a direct infraction, since there is no mention of the flag as food in the regulations.

There are rules about how to properly fold the flag. When the day is done you are supposed to fold the flag into little triangles until it is the size of a Chiclet, then pop it into your mouth.


Incidentally, only the president can order the U.S. flag to fly at half staff. Now due to budget cuts, if you only have half a staff to work with, you’re on your own.


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