ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE SOMERS RECORD (03-28-19)
I know you didn't ask me, but I think you should get out of the house more often and see some live music. I'm not your mom, and I wouldn't try to tell you how to live your life, but it also wouldn't kill you to call once in a while. If you do manage a night out, there are plenty of options right here in Westchester, if you look around online or check the More Sugar monthly paper. Two weeks ago we went down to the Jazz Forum in Tarrytown to catch a show featuring the Levin Brothers, two accomplished veterans, with a fine drummer and guest guitarist David Spinozza sitting in as well.
I'm kind of picky about jazz, because I like music to have a melody, something I can hum in the shower. I can appreciate the artistry of a solo played in all 32nd notes, but if it sounds like you simply packed a million of them into a big hat and just emptied it in front of a giant fan, I'm going to have to upgrade my shower. That's what I don't like about electronic dance music, rap and hip hop. I'm looking all over for a melody, and instead there's just Nicky Minaj shouting at me, "I went to Starbucks I wanted to get a frapo, then had a Snapple apple with the capo." That may be brilliant cultural commentary, but no melody, no tune. I hope this doesn't make me sound like your mom again, but maybe I'd be able to find a melody if you cleaned up your room. And that goes for you too, Nicky Minaj. I read the lyrics to several Nicky Minaj songs just now and I'm convinced that her brain cells are being held in solitary confinement.
Anyway, the Levin brothers performed a civilized program of original and re-imagined versions, which we thoroughly enjoyed. They've amassed quite a resumé, and played with everybody from Miles Davis to Alice Cooper. If you're going to be a top session player you have to be able to switch gears, play eclectic styles and get along with different types of personalities, and it makes you a better musician. I've heard that Alice Cooper is pretty easy to get along with but he often works with a boa constrictor who can be demanding, although he knows his scales. You can tell that the Levins are real professional musicians because they don't have a tip jar. These days everyone has a tip jar to help them get to college, even if they are 50 years old. If I had a tip jar I would have gotten into a better college, if you wouldn't mind stuffing a 3.8 GPA into it. My deli counter guy has a tip jar, and when I wanted my ham sliced so thin that you could see through it, he glanced over at the tip jar. I didn't fall for it, and as a result I couldn't see anything through my ham, and I was trying to look through a slice of turkey when my wife walked in and asked me why I was looking at things through meat.
If you're going to be a successful jazz player, you should have a "jazz face," which is a look of tortured concentration as you are transported by the music. It should fall somewhere between looking like you are passing a stone and watching a Trump press conference. Appear as if you are suffering for your art, like Van Gogh when he cut off his left ear. That's fine for a painter by the way, but if he was a jazz musician he'd have to ask the band to stand over on his right, where he could hear them. I was in a jazz band for two years, and then they replaced me, and the only reason I can think of is because my face is too handsome for jazz. Although if somebody eats a banana in front of me I make a disgusted face that I could use for a solo if I wanted to.
Anyway, we heard some great musicianship. During a jazz solo, I like to listen to the other players. How they deal with the rhythm of the song and the chord inversions is often just as satisfying as the solo itself. Some people clap after each solo, but my policy is to clap harder at the end, and let the players divide it amongst themselves. You never know what you're going to get with jazz since it's so free-form. They did a Steely Dan song, but these are jazz guys, and they're going to make you work to find any hint of Steely Dan in there. I actually had to perform a DNA test to find out if two versions were related at all. One song they did had bird calls in it, and the audience started chiming in by chirping up. It was the first time an Alfred Hitchcock movie ever broke out in the middle of a jazz set. I tried to get into the spirit by performing my famous barred owl call. If you've ever been out in the woods and heard that familiar "woo-hoo hoo-hoo!" it sounds like somebody goofing on you, but translated into owl parlance means, "I had a Snapple apple with the capo."
So get out of the house, go see some live music and get some fresh air. All the fresh air is outside and even if you opened a window, it has little incentive to come in. If I was your mom that's what I would say. Plus I must have told you a million times not jump around on the couch, you'll break your neck.
I know you didn't ask me, but I think you should get out of the house more often and see some live music. I'm not your mom, and I wouldn't try to tell you how to live your life, but it also wouldn't kill you to call once in a while. If you do manage a night out, there are plenty of options right here in Westchester, if you look around online or check the More Sugar monthly paper. Two weeks ago we went down to the Jazz Forum in Tarrytown to catch a show featuring the Levin Brothers, two accomplished veterans, with a fine drummer and guest guitarist David Spinozza sitting in as well.
I'm kind of picky about jazz, because I like music to have a melody, something I can hum in the shower. I can appreciate the artistry of a solo played in all 32nd notes, but if it sounds like you simply packed a million of them into a big hat and just emptied it in front of a giant fan, I'm going to have to upgrade my shower. That's what I don't like about electronic dance music, rap and hip hop. I'm looking all over for a melody, and instead there's just Nicky Minaj shouting at me, "I went to Starbucks I wanted to get a frapo, then had a Snapple apple with the capo." That may be brilliant cultural commentary, but no melody, no tune. I hope this doesn't make me sound like your mom again, but maybe I'd be able to find a melody if you cleaned up your room. And that goes for you too, Nicky Minaj. I read the lyrics to several Nicky Minaj songs just now and I'm convinced that her brain cells are being held in solitary confinement.
Anyway, the Levin brothers performed a civilized program of original and re-imagined versions, which we thoroughly enjoyed. They've amassed quite a resumé, and played with everybody from Miles Davis to Alice Cooper. If you're going to be a top session player you have to be able to switch gears, play eclectic styles and get along with different types of personalities, and it makes you a better musician. I've heard that Alice Cooper is pretty easy to get along with but he often works with a boa constrictor who can be demanding, although he knows his scales. You can tell that the Levins are real professional musicians because they don't have a tip jar. These days everyone has a tip jar to help them get to college, even if they are 50 years old. If I had a tip jar I would have gotten into a better college, if you wouldn't mind stuffing a 3.8 GPA into it. My deli counter guy has a tip jar, and when I wanted my ham sliced so thin that you could see through it, he glanced over at the tip jar. I didn't fall for it, and as a result I couldn't see anything through my ham, and I was trying to look through a slice of turkey when my wife walked in and asked me why I was looking at things through meat.
If you're going to be a successful jazz player, you should have a "jazz face," which is a look of tortured concentration as you are transported by the music. It should fall somewhere between looking like you are passing a stone and watching a Trump press conference. Appear as if you are suffering for your art, like Van Gogh when he cut off his left ear. That's fine for a painter by the way, but if he was a jazz musician he'd have to ask the band to stand over on his right, where he could hear them. I was in a jazz band for two years, and then they replaced me, and the only reason I can think of is because my face is too handsome for jazz. Although if somebody eats a banana in front of me I make a disgusted face that I could use for a solo if I wanted to.
Anyway, we heard some great musicianship. During a jazz solo, I like to listen to the other players. How they deal with the rhythm of the song and the chord inversions is often just as satisfying as the solo itself. Some people clap after each solo, but my policy is to clap harder at the end, and let the players divide it amongst themselves. You never know what you're going to get with jazz since it's so free-form. They did a Steely Dan song, but these are jazz guys, and they're going to make you work to find any hint of Steely Dan in there. I actually had to perform a DNA test to find out if two versions were related at all. One song they did had bird calls in it, and the audience started chiming in by chirping up. It was the first time an Alfred Hitchcock movie ever broke out in the middle of a jazz set. I tried to get into the spirit by performing my famous barred owl call. If you've ever been out in the woods and heard that familiar "woo-hoo hoo-hoo!" it sounds like somebody goofing on you, but translated into owl parlance means, "I had a Snapple apple with the capo."
So get out of the house, go see some live music and get some fresh air. All the fresh air is outside and even if you opened a window, it has little incentive to come in. If I was your mom that's what I would say. Plus I must have told you a million times not jump around on the couch, you'll break your neck.
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