PEACE IN THE VALLEY

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE SOMERS RECORD (05-05-22)- Please remember small business in your town during this coronavirus pandemic

 

    If you're tired of taking the train to a boring job every day, instead try a train that drops you off 25 miles from where you started, and leaves you to try to find your way back. It sounds diabolical, but actually makes for an invigorating and scenic bicycle ride through Pennsylvania's lovely Lehigh River valley. The staff of the Pocono Bike Train loads you and your bicycle (or you can rent one of theirs) onto a circa 1917 train at the charming town of Jim Thorpe, and takes you 25 miles north to access the beautiful D & L bike path at the White Haven trailhead. 

     I asked the same thing you're probably asking: "Are there many hills?" They said, "It's a steady, low downward grade." Which I was used to from high school, so no problem. I also asked if I could do the ride in kilometers, which makes me sound foreign, mysterious and even more heroic since there are forty of them on this excursion.

     The weather was absolutely perfect for our ride; a little cool is fine, but you don't want it to be too hot, and you don't want to be too cold. You don't want it to be too lukewarm. Somewhere between 55 degrees Farenheit and 12.7 Celsius is optimal. You don't want to leave too late because it might take you four hours depending on how many times you stop. You don't want to leave too early before you've fueled up with a good breakfast. You want to leave before lunch. Just after you've had two sips of coffee but before the third one is optimal.

     Check your equipment before you start your ride. I said to my wife, "Let's do a quick check of all the safety equipment on our bicycles." She said, "We don't have any safety equipment, we barely have the bicycles." I said, "I'm just telling you what the brochure said. For instance, is your chain properly lubricated?" She said no. "Do your brakes work effectively?" Not very well. "Is your seat set to the correct height?" No. "Okay, I feel better now that we've checked everything. It's a long way back to civilization. One more thing: do you think I have enough air?" She did not dignify that with a reply.

     After a couple miles we passed by Glen Onoko Falls, which you can hike on a separate (but demanding I hear) trip. Legend has it that the beautiful Native American maiden Onoko fell in love with a white settler, and upon hearing of it, her irate chieftain father threw him over the falls to his death. Crestfallen, she then jumped from the cliff herself. If the legend teaches us anything, it's that your parents don't need to know everything.

     Down on the river were a group of kayakers who had apparently never seen the movie, "Deliverance." One was facing the wrong way, paddling furiously, trying either to free himself from a rock, or to spawn. I was tired from biking, but I'd rather be up the creek without a pedal than a paddle. There were also some guys fly fishing on the riverbank, and from the looks of things they had caught quite a few flies.

     People often walk the trail to check out the wildlife in its natural habitat. Grouse, pheasants, quail and turkey can be hunted and are considered game birds, although I bet if you asked them they might settle for some Chinese checkers, or some other game where the stakes aren't quite so high. 

     There was a sign that said "Do not feed bears." I'm guessing that whoever put up that sign was not a bear, because bears have a much different opinion as to whether they should be fed or not. If you see one, and it wants your food, you can explain politely, but firmly, that as much as you'd like to feed it if it were up to you, there is a sign a few miles back that explicitly says you are NOT allowed to. You can email me from the hospital to let me know how that went. 

     We didn't see any life that was much wilder than a typical Saturday afternoon at the Walmart check-out line, but we did see plenty of beautiful waterfalls and vistas. Opportunities for selfies were many, and sometimes the selfie was so lovely that I didn't have the heart to spoil it by putting myself in it. The backdrop of the Lehigh River valley, sometimes mountains, sometimes rocks, sometimes forest, is mostly absolutely gorges.