A CONNECTICUT YANKEE

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE SOMERS RECORD (12-01-22)- Please remember small business in your town during this coronavirus pandemic

     A few weeks ago we took advantage of the beautiful weather to spend a nice little weekend in Hartford. We bicycled around around West Hartford Reservoir, a lovely spot to take in some fall foliage. We were eventually asked to leave by the police because we didn't have helmets. I told the cop that I was shocked that you can ride a motorcycle on the street without a helmet in Connecticut but not a bicycle in the park. He said true, but if someone gets in an accident without a helmet, heads will roll.

     We traveled down the street to take a tour of the Mark Twain House and Museum. It's the place where Samuel Clemens became Mark Twain and wrote his most iconic works. Clemens was a struggling writer at the time, and the 25-room mansion was built not with his money, but his wife's inheritance from her coal baron father. I used to tell my Mom, hey, it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl as a poor one, and she said, yes, but good luck getting one to fall in love with you.

     The architecture itself is appealing, as from the outside the home calls to mind a riverboat. I'm always fascinated by large dwellings with so many rooms that they ran out of things to use them for. Our tour commenced in the parlor. The house was built before the time of beauty parlors, so even ugly people were welcome there. We visited the drawing room and the library. All the while our guide was telling us the story of Sam and Olivia Clemens, their successes and heartaches, the ill health of their daughters and financial tribulations. 

     We continued to the sitting room, and I'd love to have one of those, in fact I can't stand not having one. The one room Twain couldn't seem to find in a house full of exuberant young girls was a place to do his writing. He finally settled on the upstairs billiards room, where no one but staff was allowed. He wrote by day and entertained his friends over a cigar and a whiskey by night.

     I always like to ask the tour guide a question here and there. In case she thinks I haven't been paying attention, this proves it beyond any doubt. "Do you think that today Mark Twain would still say that the reports of his death were greatly exaggerated?" 

     I remember visiting the Mark Twain House when I was little with my Grandmother. All you grandparents out there, remember, you're never going to totally understand your grand-kids' world. They may not know how to let you into it. But you can let them into yours, just as my Grandmother did. By instilling in me a lifelong love of birds, gardening, cooking and so many other things, her legacy will live on every time I burn a casserole.

     I don't think a grandparent can buy children's affection with a few toys and some candy. It will take several toys and a lot of candy. Another, more time-consuming but effective way, is to take them out of their house before their parents think of chores for them to do, and spend a little time with them. And adults can learn a lot from children, too; Mark Twain said it best: "The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

     I'd be fine with having grandchildren, but I found out you have to have children first and see how that goes. I'd be a good grandfather, and if my grand-kids had children I would a great grandfather. My brother-in-law Paul reads a story to his grand-kids a few times a week by zoom, which I think is a great idea. I can picture me doing the same thing: "Okay, Rickster III, I'm going to read you one of my favorite nursery rhymes. Ready? Here it is: 'Cursory.' You may not understand that until you grow up to be JUST LIKE ME, but it's a real time-saver."

     The museum offers a unique experience: you can book a writing session in Mark Twain's library, along with seven other participants. If it goes really well and you finish something, I guess you can just add it to the shelf. Anyone caught drawing will politely be removed to the drawing room. I think I'd be too self-conscious to write anything, because I'd spend the whole three hours comparing myself to Twain. In my own opinion, I'm taller, better at tennis, and I think a slightly better writer. Not everyone would agree that I'm a better writer than Shania Twain, but most would not argue that I am taller.