SPECIAL TO THE SOMERS RECORD (11-09-17)
Remember when it used to rain "cats and dogs," and you might step into a poodle? Well, those days are over. It never just rains anymore. Instead we have "weather events," which make them sound like something fun that you could show up to with a folding chair, a pair of binoculars and some potato chips. I don't know whether this is due to climate change or the rampant hyperbole of our times, but you can't leave your house anymore during a rainstorm, because torrential downpours, gusting winds and severe conditions are out to get you. If you do chance it, don't stand next to anything that looks remotely unstable, and that includes Charlie Sheen.
We had a rainstorm last Monday, and it blew down trees, utility poles and knocked out power all around Somers and elsewhere. Don't just stand around and wait for things to blow over, because the thing that blows over might be YOU. The next day if you turn on your TV you'll see pictures of oak trees that fell through peoples' attics and cars sitting in the middle of flooding in the street. The good news is that you won't see any of that if a tree fell on your TV.
And then there is lightning. The odds of you being struck by lightning in your lifetime are approximately one in 3,000, but if you ARE struck the odds just went up dramatically. People are always saying that whatever dumb thing they're trying to get you to do has less of a chance of hurting you than being hit by lightning. And after you've signed that disclaimer and the bungee cord snaps over the ravine and you go plunging toward the raging river, you have the comfort of knowing that at least you weren't hit by lightning.
Lightning is a little like nature's short circuit. Negatively charged particles that form by movement and cooling within clouds are attracted to positively charged objects on Earth, and a release of electrostatic energy occurs in the form of lightning. You may be charged yourself, but you can just put it on PayPal like I did.
There are some facts and fallacies about lightning. Wearing rubber shoes will not protect you from lightning, nor will they protect you from being looked down upon by people with more stylish footwear. People talking on landline telephone are the most likely to get hit by an indoor lightning strike. If you have caller ID make sure the call isn't coming from a rain cloud.
People performing outdoor chores such as mowing the lawn are also at greater risk. That's why if you hear thunder within 30 seconds of seeing lightning you should head indoors. For the sake of safety I stop mowing the lawn just before I start in case I can't hear the thunder. Those involved with organized sports should be prepared to take cover sooner in the event of an electrical storm. Those involved with disorganized sports should be prepared for just about anything.
All of this is making it hard for romance to blossom during inclement weather, as it once did. Remember that song "Laughter in the Rain" by Neil Sedaka? Neither do I because I'm way too young, of course. But if he wrote it today he would be singing the popular refrain, "Ooh, I hear laughter in the weather event, walking hand in hand during a wind advisory." Do you know how many words rhyme with "wind advisory?" Enough for Neil Sedaka to have a flourishing career at Home Depot.
Remember when it used to rain "cats and dogs," and you might step into a poodle? Well, those days are over. It never just rains anymore. Instead we have "weather events," which make them sound like something fun that you could show up to with a folding chair, a pair of binoculars and some potato chips. I don't know whether this is due to climate change or the rampant hyperbole of our times, but you can't leave your house anymore during a rainstorm, because torrential downpours, gusting winds and severe conditions are out to get you. If you do chance it, don't stand next to anything that looks remotely unstable, and that includes Charlie Sheen.
We had a rainstorm last Monday, and it blew down trees, utility poles and knocked out power all around Somers and elsewhere. Don't just stand around and wait for things to blow over, because the thing that blows over might be YOU. The next day if you turn on your TV you'll see pictures of oak trees that fell through peoples' attics and cars sitting in the middle of flooding in the street. The good news is that you won't see any of that if a tree fell on your TV.
And then there is lightning. The odds of you being struck by lightning in your lifetime are approximately one in 3,000, but if you ARE struck the odds just went up dramatically. People are always saying that whatever dumb thing they're trying to get you to do has less of a chance of hurting you than being hit by lightning. And after you've signed that disclaimer and the bungee cord snaps over the ravine and you go plunging toward the raging river, you have the comfort of knowing that at least you weren't hit by lightning.
Lightning is a little like nature's short circuit. Negatively charged particles that form by movement and cooling within clouds are attracted to positively charged objects on Earth, and a release of electrostatic energy occurs in the form of lightning. You may be charged yourself, but you can just put it on PayPal like I did.
There are some facts and fallacies about lightning. Wearing rubber shoes will not protect you from lightning, nor will they protect you from being looked down upon by people with more stylish footwear. People talking on landline telephone are the most likely to get hit by an indoor lightning strike. If you have caller ID make sure the call isn't coming from a rain cloud.
People performing outdoor chores such as mowing the lawn are also at greater risk. That's why if you hear thunder within 30 seconds of seeing lightning you should head indoors. For the sake of safety I stop mowing the lawn just before I start in case I can't hear the thunder. Those involved with organized sports should be prepared to take cover sooner in the event of an electrical storm. Those involved with disorganized sports should be prepared for just about anything.
All of this is making it hard for romance to blossom during inclement weather, as it once did. Remember that song "Laughter in the Rain" by Neil Sedaka? Neither do I because I'm way too young, of course. But if he wrote it today he would be singing the popular refrain, "Ooh, I hear laughter in the weather event, walking hand in hand during a wind advisory." Do you know how many words rhyme with "wind advisory?" Enough for Neil Sedaka to have a flourishing career at Home Depot.
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