ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE SOMERS RECORD (02-08-18)
My first cousin once removed, Ann, is a member of the Hudson Chorale, a 70-voice singing ensemble performing works of classical music as well as modern and popular pieces. We went to hear them perform Franz Haydn's "The Creation," in its original German language form. First of all, I couldn't believe how great the company sounded, with an orchestra and three professional solo vocalists. Second of all, I couldn't believe that if you were a cousin once removed from me, that you wouldn't just stay there and not press your luck that it would happen twice.
With the arias and choruses reverberating through the halls of the Chapel at Maryknoll in Ossining, the oratorio moved from somber to stirring. If I was expecting a washout of an OK Chorale, this wasn't it. Some of the words were adapted from the Bible, recounting the story of how God created the Earth, just using basic materials found around the Heavens in His spare time. It takes a full six days in the Bible, but Haydn covers it in about 45 minutes, and it sounds great. If you are singing in an expansive marble room you'd better know what you're doing, because when those notes come echoing back, it's not like they had time to change into something nice and put on some makeup.
Even though I already have an extensive knowledge of German from watching years of Hogan's Heroes reruns, I consulted the translation to delve deeper into the story. German is sort of a harsh-sounding language, and even if someone is telling you they love you it sounds like they might also torture you soon. But it was perfectly suited for this production, where the syllables have rhythm and structure.
The story goes on in Part 2, and I have to admit, I didn't understand it much better in English than I did in German. The animals are created, you have the tawny lion, the nimble stag, the fleecy, meek and bleating flock, not highest of compliment I ever heard. Man is created in God's own image, but he might have stuck on a few more pimples.
Maryknoll itself is quite a building, a 210,000 square-foot Asian-influenced fieldstone mission more than a century old. I've never seen a square-foot Asian, so that in itself is quite a feet. The 40-odd piece orchestra was flawless. They even wheeled in a harpsichord, I hope it had snow tires on.
After the performance I was chatting with Ann and Norm. I thought maybe I could offer to try out for the group. Maybe they can use a baritone who can sing some of the notes on key, with horrible timbre but who has a pretty decent one-handed backhand. I know I'm a baritone because Frank Sinatra is a baritone and I can hit all the notes that he does, although it sounds like I'm hitting them with my car.
My music teacher at the Robert E. Bell Middle School was Miss Hinkel, and she insisted that we all smile a big, disturbing smile as we sang in chorus. If you had heard us sing I could not blame you if smiling was way down near the bottom on your list of things to do. As I think back, that smile was the same one that politicians use when they are caught embezzling hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars, and the cameras are trained on them as they walk up the stairs to the courtroom, with their lawyer and their wife in tow, both wondering just how long they must endure this guy.
My voice has a nasal quality which is not at all sonorous, but when I sing a song like the Beach Boys' "God Only Nose" it's pure magic. Miss Hinkel wouldn't like it. She told us to sing from our diaphragm, which is a muscle that separates your thoracic cavity from your abdominal cavity. It's hard to smile when all your cavities are singing in disharmony, but it explains why the Planned Parenthood chorus sounds so damn good.
My first cousin once removed, Ann, is a member of the Hudson Chorale, a 70-voice singing ensemble performing works of classical music as well as modern and popular pieces. We went to hear them perform Franz Haydn's "The Creation," in its original German language form. First of all, I couldn't believe how great the company sounded, with an orchestra and three professional solo vocalists. Second of all, I couldn't believe that if you were a cousin once removed from me, that you wouldn't just stay there and not press your luck that it would happen twice.
With the arias and choruses reverberating through the halls of the Chapel at Maryknoll in Ossining, the oratorio moved from somber to stirring. If I was expecting a washout of an OK Chorale, this wasn't it. Some of the words were adapted from the Bible, recounting the story of how God created the Earth, just using basic materials found around the Heavens in His spare time. It takes a full six days in the Bible, but Haydn covers it in about 45 minutes, and it sounds great. If you are singing in an expansive marble room you'd better know what you're doing, because when those notes come echoing back, it's not like they had time to change into something nice and put on some makeup.
Even though I already have an extensive knowledge of German from watching years of Hogan's Heroes reruns, I consulted the translation to delve deeper into the story. German is sort of a harsh-sounding language, and even if someone is telling you they love you it sounds like they might also torture you soon. But it was perfectly suited for this production, where the syllables have rhythm and structure.
The story goes on in Part 2, and I have to admit, I didn't understand it much better in English than I did in German. The animals are created, you have the tawny lion, the nimble stag, the fleecy, meek and bleating flock, not highest of compliment I ever heard. Man is created in God's own image, but he might have stuck on a few more pimples.
Maryknoll itself is quite a building, a 210,000 square-foot Asian-influenced fieldstone mission more than a century old. I've never seen a square-foot Asian, so that in itself is quite a feet. The 40-odd piece orchestra was flawless. They even wheeled in a harpsichord, I hope it had snow tires on.
After the performance I was chatting with Ann and Norm. I thought maybe I could offer to try out for the group. Maybe they can use a baritone who can sing some of the notes on key, with horrible timbre but who has a pretty decent one-handed backhand. I know I'm a baritone because Frank Sinatra is a baritone and I can hit all the notes that he does, although it sounds like I'm hitting them with my car.
My music teacher at the Robert E. Bell Middle School was Miss Hinkel, and she insisted that we all smile a big, disturbing smile as we sang in chorus. If you had heard us sing I could not blame you if smiling was way down near the bottom on your list of things to do. As I think back, that smile was the same one that politicians use when they are caught embezzling hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars, and the cameras are trained on them as they walk up the stairs to the courtroom, with their lawyer and their wife in tow, both wondering just how long they must endure this guy.
My voice has a nasal quality which is not at all sonorous, but when I sing a song like the Beach Boys' "God Only Nose" it's pure magic. Miss Hinkel wouldn't like it. She told us to sing from our diaphragm, which is a muscle that separates your thoracic cavity from your abdominal cavity. It's hard to smile when all your cavities are singing in disharmony, but it explains why the Planned Parenthood chorus sounds so damn good.
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