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Thursday, June 18, 2009



The free world is watching closely as Iran tries to sort out the claims of fraud and tampering in their recent “election.” After the results were tallied and Ahmadinejad declared the winner, so many opposition supporters came out publicly that no one could believe that the polling was fair. Ironically, it was Al Gore, running against the incumbent, who again got screwed…. In the good old days you could just wander around and shoot people who publicly dissented, but nowadays, with the immediacy of technology, the castigation of outraged nations is too politically expensive. Fortunately for the winning party, they can control email traffic and punish offenders. Unfortunately for them, they cannot control texting, so word gets around faster than at any other time in history. I received a text from Tehran yesterday:

“OMG! Sucks 2 B a democrat! Voted 4 Moussavi! R house wuz D stroyed!! Here comes Guard- BRB”

I tried to put Ahmadinejad into spellcheck, but lo and behold, it had NO suggestions…

Incidentally, Queen was the first band ever to sell a rock album in Iran, because Freddy Mercury is of Persian descent. Which you can guess by his real name, which is Farrokh Bulsara. And also by the fact that he had long hair like the cat, and sheds like a bastard.


I have an idea for a new business. I am going to set up a company that buys all of your unused frequent flier miles and pools them together. Since I fly too infrequently, I hardly have any miles to speak of. My total accumulation is more easily measured in yards. I added everything up and it looks like I will be able to vacation next year in Rome, which actually ain’t bad. It’s close by to Utica. Unfortunately I will have to rent a car and drive from Newburgh.

So the business idea is to get all those miles together until they equal a trip to Las Vegas, where I will have a casino waiting for you to divest you of all the money you saved from the free flight. BRILLIANT!

But people are accumulating free stuff all the time and they don’t even know it. My credit card has an incentive system, and every time you buy something you are awarded points which eventually add up to something allegedly useful, and each year you can pick a FREE gift out of a brochure. Last year mine added up to a tote bag, which I could have had FREE, except for shipping and handling, which was eleven dollars. I don’t mind paying the shipping, even though I think it’s a waste of money to use ships to transport tote bags from Mexico. But I do object to the handling- I don’t need all those fingerprints on my tote bag.

As it turns out I have enough points to win a close football game, but not enough to get a clock-radio. Nor a clock, nor a radio. Which explains why I am well-rested and ill-informed.

Incidentally, in Canada, donating frequent flier miles to the poor is considered a tax-deduction, but good luck getting a receipt.

Provided by website-hit-counters.com site.

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