RICKSTER IS THE COLUMNIST FOR THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION, "THE SOMERS RECORD"

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Friday, May 12, 2023

ELM CITY EXPLOITS

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY THE SOMERS RECORD (04-27-23)- Please remember small business in your town during this coronavirus pandemic  


     New Haven is a small city, home to Yale University and well worth exploring for a weekend. After settling in we took our e-bikes down to Long Wharf Drive, and believe me it is better to take a short ride on a long wharf than the other way around. There is a park and also a nature preserve with trails at the shore of the Long Island Sound. Here you can gaze at the Sound or just listen to the sights.

     On any given day there are a dozen food trucks on the street serving Mexican, Cuban, Thai and American treats, among others. You could order a pani puri, a nice set of tostones or get yourself a mofongo. But remember, you are what you eat. I've been to food trucks before, and I've had some very tasty meals. But I feel that if I show up on time at a food truck I should charge THEM for delivery.

     We rode our bikes back north, occasionally passing the elm trees that used to line the streets of New Haven before a fungal infestation caused them to start to die off in the 1930s. At the end of any monumental journey, there should be a monument. And the Soldiers and Sailors Monument is as nicer than most, a 366-foot granite and bronze structure commemorating soldiers and battles in American history. The view from the top of East Rock Park takes in the whole downtown and waterfront area, so I wouldn't want to not overlook it.

     We had dinner in Little Italy, which is an optical illusion. Everything in Little Italy is actually the same size as normal, but after dinner with those huge portions, I myself was much larger and Little Italy just appeared smaller. 

     Cafe Nine is a real music-lover's dive bar. We saw a punk-abilly band that had adorned themselves with just about every skull, snake and spider web tattoo that you could think of, and some which I would advise you not to think of. I don't know how spiders got such a loathsome reputation, although I did read that they had discovered a new species of giant spider, and I just know I'm going to run into this brute crawling around behind our hot tub. I picture me and Raquel Welch fighting off the damn thing in a cave, she's wearing a fur bikini and so is the spider, and she has a spear and I say, give me that spear, I'm the man and I'll defend us and she says hold on, I was darts champion at San Diego State, and I say that's great but if you miss I don't want to end up in hand-to-hand combat with it, and she says what are you so worried about, it's not even armed, and I say yeah but it has eight legs. I don't know what any of this has to do with New Haven but every time I'm in a fantasy with Raquel Welch it never goes like I'd expect it to.

     Anyway, the band was a lot of fun, the guitarist played an unusual cigar box electric that had only three strings, with an alternate tuning. It required quite a lot of fingering but the results were well worth it, as they often are. They sang a lot of songs about the devil, the devil did this, the devil did that. I bet if you asked the devil truthfully he'd say he never did half the stuff people said he did. "The Devil Went Down to Georgia? I was there ONCE but I must have made quite an impression." At one point the devil ran off with the singer's baby, but how old was the baby? The devil's not going to be changing any diapers or heating up the formula, I can tell you that. And if he's talking about his girlfriend, well I'm willing to bet she left of her own accord by the end of the second verse.

     After that we went over to the Elm City Tap House, which was literally crawling with college students. To my surprise and wonderment, three different young people made a point to come over and chat with us. Possibly they were interested that I was a valuable ancient relic, or just fascinated that people our age were still awake at midnight. One of them said, "I think you will do great things." Well, great or not, we have already done most of whatever we will do. And now it's your turn. And from what we saw, armed with intelligence, curiosity and an occasional cocktail, great things will be done.

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